KK: This is a dialogue that happened on Facebook this week. If you ever wanted a window onto academic bullying… this is it. The responses are shared with permission. Where names are listed, commenters actively REQUESTED this for transparency’s sake. If you’d like to share your own story or advice, please put them in comments.
Do not include mental health information in university records. Idc how progressive you think academics are, the university is a profit-driven machine and as such is inherently and fundamentally ableist always. Do not do it.
If you can’t leave, create a schedule so you never see this person. If you must interact- Gray rock. I wrote this explanation of gray rock if you want it. Feel free to use: The Gray Rock Method is a recommended communication style to reduce harassment from toxic coworkers by removing any emotional response to their attempts at baiting or conversation. Gray Rocking entails limiting all communication to boring and monotonous responses that are restricted to the bare minimum that is required while eliminating small talk, asking any questions, and sharing information of personal life and any successes. Given that toxic people thrive on continued conflict and emotional reactions, the use of Gray Rock can reduce of repeated attempts of unwanted communication.
In same boat before. Left that job. Life should be happy. Not worth to fight (not that I didn’t fight) . Use your energy to find another job.
If this is a state institution you can leverage your state”s code of conduct and HR services for support. There is usually a hotline you can call.
Despite repeated appeals, all the way up the food chain, my abuser/tormenter, who also happened to be female, was never corrected. I finally left the university. I only wish could have left sooner as I had no idea how badly this was affecting my entire life, to continually have my experiences invalidated! (Lisa Calvin Blue)
I’ve got to ask this, having experienced bullying at work, why do you want to keep working there? You’ve and your team have been very clear for enough of a duration for your employer to have decided to take action. No job is worth your mind and health. Please leave, stating bullying and their lack of response as your reason. You will find something better. You are clearly skilled.
It sounds to me like this is the sort of administration who would look at a diagnosis of PTSD as evidence to discredit you. (Alexandra Romanyshyn)
These bullies are everywhere, and I”ve seen it for years. It’s worth noting as well that there’s another phenomenon, known as mobbing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobbing My partner, an associate professor in a humanities department, has experienced this. Otherwise decent people can be manipulated by a bully into taking their side and amplifying pressure. Everyone believes a particular negative narrative, and there’s no answering it. It’s just in the wind. Everything said about dealing with a bully also applies to mobbing. No administrator, HR office, ombudsperson, or anyone else will help, and detailing the events to them will only be used against the person being mobbed. Finding an exit strategy from the toxic place might be the only option.