In light of the shit show of unprecedented proportions that is academia at the present moment, post-ac coach Kel Weinhold and I have launched a a new 12 part series on leaving academia called, Twelve Steps To A New Job.

Welcome back to our 12 Steps to a New Job series, where we use the 12-Step model (completely secularized, we promise) to guide you through leaving academia.

I’m Kel Weinhold, productivity coach for The Professor Is In. I work with postdocs and academics at every stage of transition, and if you’re interested in talking through your options with me, you can always reach me at postac@theprofessorisin.com.

And, of course, each week on our free webinar, I’m joined by Dr. Karen Kelsky, founder of The Professor Is In and The Professor Is Out, who’s been helping academics both stay in and get out since 2011.

Below is the synopsis!

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Welcome to Week 6 of our 12-Step series on leaving academia or, more accurately, detoxifying your relationship with it. If you’ve been following along, you know we’re using the 12-Step framework (loosely!) to explore how we navigate a deeply ingrained and often toxic connection to the academic system. Many of us will admit: it’s an addictive relationship.

And now, we’re at Step 6. This is the turning point from looking back at what wasn’t working to looking forward at what will.

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The Original vs. Our Rewrite

In the AA tradition, Step 6 reads:

“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

Last week (Step 5), we reworked the idea of “defects of character” and instead focused on naming what you endured and how you survived—including survival strategies that were necessary at the time, even if they weren’t ideal.

This week, we take it further:

We are willing to release the survival strategies that no longer serve us.

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Why This Matters

Academia trains us to contort ourselves to fit impossible demands. We adapt by creating coping mechanisms, many of which once helped us survive but now keep us stuck.

This is not about shame. These behaviors worked for a time. They protected you. But as you contemplate what comes next, inside or outside academia, it’s time to ask:

Am I willing to let go of what no longer serves me?

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What Are These Survival Strategies?

Here are a few we hear again and again:

• Over-functioning / Overworking
  (“If I just work harder, I can save this job.” Spoiler: You can’t.)
• People-pleasing
  (“If I say yes to everything, my colleagues will like me… and I’ll be safe.”)
• Compartmentalization
  (Putting toxicity in a box so you can keep going without thinking about it.)
• Perfectionism
  (“If I do everything perfectly, they’ll have to keep me.”)
• Isolation
  (Pulling away because engagement feels unsafe.)
• Self-medicating just to cope
  (From Valium in the 1950s to “wine o’clock” memes today.)

Do any of these sound familiar?

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A Reality Check

Let’s be clear: these strategies were adaptive. They helped you survive in a system that demands too much and gives too little. But right now, they’re likely doing more harm than good.

And here’s something you need to hear:
You cannot overwork your way to job security.
No amount of extra effort will stop the structural forces (funding cuts, hiring freezes) that shape academia today.

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Why We Cling to These Strategies

When we ask clients why they hold onto these patterns, the answers usually boil down to fear:

• If I don’t overwork, I’ll lose my job.
• If I don’t say yes, they’ll hate me.
• If I’m not perfect, I’ll fail.

And because these behaviors earned rewards in the past (raise, opportunities, approval) they became habits. For many of us, they became identity.

So here’s a mindset shift:

Perfectionism is not who you are. It’s a behavior you learned. And you can unlearn it.

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Step 6 Is About Willingness

Notice the language:
“Willing to let go.”

Not “already let go.” Not “crushed every bad habit.” Just ready.

Because the tiniest mindset shift (“I’m open to another way”) can unleash massive change.

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What This Looks Like in Practice

This week, try these exercises:

1. Name the coping strategies you want to release.
   (Example: Over-functioning, perfectionism, isolation.)
2. Ask: What would it feel like to stop?
   Imagine doing less. Saying no. Logging off at 5:00.
   How does your body react? Relief? Panic? Both?
3. Write down your fears.
   What are you afraid will happen if you let go? Losing your job? Losing respect?
   Make the fear visible so it stops running the show.
4. Choose a strength you want to center instead.
   (Clarity. Balance. Boundaries. Collaboration.)

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Looking Ahead

Step 6 is the bridge. Up until now, we’ve been excavating the past, what harmed you, how you coped. From here, we start shaping a future: one that prioritizes agency over fear.

This week, just notice. Notice when you slip into the old strategies. Gently ask:
What if I try something different?

Because the truth is, you are not your job. You are not your coping mechanisms. And you are absolutely capable of building something new.

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Your Turn:

• What coping strategy are you most ready to release?
• What would life feel like without it?

Share in the comments, or just journal on it this week. And remember: you’re halfway there.