This week I launched the Sexual Harassment in the Academy Crowdsource Survey and 600+ entries into it, I am just a little…ummm…
SHALL WE SAY…
AND IN NO MOOD TO WRITE A MAKEUP MONDAY POST.
CURRENT MOOD, AS REPRESENTED IN LAST NIGHT’S TEXTS:
Professor Friend: I hate people
Did I ever tell you that my boyfriend told me that he found out a few years ago that female students in his department keep a list of “safe” male professors?
Not a list of unsafe or predatory ones — but a list of “safe” ones
Like unsafe is the default
KK: Wow that is terrible
Professor Friend: I know right??
Somehow it was more upsetting than if he had said it was a list of “bad” faculty tho that still would have been upsetting
I asked him if it was a list of profs who didn’t harass women and he said not only that but also profs who wouldn’t as he put it “act bro-ey” and make women uncomfortable in any way.
And that is really the default isn’t it.
Bag o dicks
Box o dicks
Professor Friend: Yes
Bowl of dicks
KK: Bucket o dicks
Professor Friend: Bidet of dicks
KK: Basket o dicks
Professor Friend: You beat me! I was going to say basket!!!!
Professor Friend: Bundle of dicks
What’s a term of venery for dicks?
KK: That I don’t know
Professor Friend: A meta-dick? Since toxic masculinity is fractal?
KK: Ur-dick ?
Professor Friend: Yes!
One dick to rule them all, one dick to bind them
Ask not what your dick can do for you but what you can do for your dick.
Give me dick or give me death!
Professor Friend: Hahahahaha
Because I could not stop for dick it kindly stopped for me
Professor Friend: Dance like no one is watching, love like it’s never going to hurt and work towards your PhD like academia isn’t a giant shitbowl of dicks
KK: I wonder if I should put this on the blog. The whole thread.
Professor Friend: I don’t know! It’s kind of cathartic — but will it detract from the gravitas?
KK: After this fucking survey do I care?
And so for Makeup Monday I leave you in the hands of Sailor J, the beauty blogger we all need today.
As she informs us, “Since it’s simply for the dick, we have to do it.”
And remember: “So long as you look like a newborn baby, men are willing to mate with you.”
(Find more Sailor J here: Twitter: @_xjjsmithx_ Insta: xx_jjsmith_xx )